


Do I Look Worried to You?

by SilverTempest



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Spoilers For Antman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4402937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverTempest/pseuds/SilverTempest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers has been searching for his best friend for a long time, so when he gets that phone call, he can't resist going. What he finds, isn't what he expects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do I Look Worried to You?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BreTheWriter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreTheWriter/gifts).



> So, if you didn't read the tags, there is a bit of a spoiler in this as it has to do with the Ant-Man end credit scene. The movie didn't come out in the US until 7/17, but it came out in other countries before then and the end credit scene got spoiled for me. I should note that I'm not mad. I don't mind being spoiled and it was probably a good thing as this came out of that. It's not exactly like the real end credit scene, as the version that I saw initially was definitely not in English, but I doubt it would go this way anyway. So, here's to my brain for coming up with all these feels. I hope you all enjoy!

Steve walked into the warehouse, trying so hard not to seem eager. When he had gotten the call from Sam, the call that said that he had found Bucky, he didn’t know what to think. His mind had frozen on those words before racing with thoughts…with unspoken questions. The only one he managed to get out, asked where Sam was…where Bucky was.

He’d taken one of the Avenger’s vehicles, dressed only in a simple gray t-shirt and black pants. His best friend was nearby. He was so close and Steve didn’t feel like he had time to do more than to grab his shield and combat suit, tossing it into the back of the SUV before speeding off down the road. Eyes tried to focus on the road ahead of him while his mind raced with the possibilities.

Was Bucky all right? Had he regained any of his memories? Steve had seen the reports, the attacks on Hydra bases that the team was completely unaware of. One by one they’d been taken out, though it was at random, so it was hard to track who had been behind it all. For a while now, he had suspected Bucky was the one responsible, hunting down the people who had turned him into the Winter Soldier, destroying all those who had forced him to kill and destroy.

As he pulled up to the warehouse, he had to hope he would get some answers. Sam had told him Bucky wasn’t going anywhere at the moment, but he was still worried that he would walk in there and his friend would be long gone. There was always the chance that Steve would just get a glimpse before the soldier would run away from him again. If that was the case, Steve would try to stop him, but he knew that he could never truly hurt his best friend.

The warehouse was dirty, with oil and other filth coating the floors and the walls. There looked to be several mechanical devices scatter throughout various rooms as he walked. It was some sort of machining shop, but there was no signs of it being associated with Hydra, at least, not so far. Steve was distracted and the dim lighting didn’t help as he tripped over a body, catching himself before he went crashing fully to the ground. His shirt and pants and hands were now stained with the oil and soot on the floor. As he pushed himself upright, he glanced around to see a handful of soldiers on the ground. Their weapons were scattered and sure enough, right on the uniform was the skull with the six legs, the insignia of Hydra.

Steve walked past the bodies. They weren’t a concern of his right now. He needed to find Sam and Bucky. His mind recalled the specific instructions Sam had given him over the phone, traveling all the way to a room in the back of the warehouse. He rounded the corner, stepping into the room. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight before him.

It was undoubtedly Bucky, hair long and hanging down to cover up his face. He was sitting on a bench of some sort, his body dressed in dark pants and a red long sleeved Henley. That wasn’t the sight Steve hadn’t been prepared for. It was that deadly metal arm, stuck in the mechanism of the machine Bucky was sitting next to.

The man seemed to instinctively try and pull it out, but it wasn’t budging and from the angle, it had to hurt, to pull at real flesh, but the soldier didn’t make a sound. Steve had walked in just in time to watch him tug a bit, placing his flesh hand against the base of the machine to brace himself, but the arm was stuck pretty good.

It was only a second before he stopped, his eyes wandering over to Steve. Steve knew what Bucky saw, his face stricken with the sight before him. What made it worse was the soldier gaping trying to say something, but the thought wouldn’t come to be put into words. He looked confused for a split second and then his eyes turned pleading, trying to convey to Steve the emotions buried deep down. Steve saw it for what it was, it was his friend silently begging for his help and it hurt because he didn’t know how to help him.

Steve remembered that look. It was the same one he had barely had a chance to process that day on the helicarrier two years prior. Bucky had been pinned by one of the steel girders and Steve had rushed to try and free him. He wouldn’t let Bucky die like that, wouldn’t let him remain trapped if there was something he could do about it. So, he had used what little strength he had left to pull the girder off, allowing the soldier to crawl free. That hadn’t ended well, but the situation had so many parallels to what was in front of him. How could he free Bucky from the machine? How could he get the man to stay this time and let him help?

At least Bucky looked healthy. Well, as healthy as he could be under the circumstances. There had also been that small glint of recognition in his eyes, so it was something. The man was looking away from him now, down at the floor as he rested his flesh arm on his leg. Bucky was obviously in pain, but hadn’t been permitted to show it…was still refusing to really show it.

Sam stepped over from where he had been standing off to the side. He had watched the little reunion unfold, waiting to see what the best course of option would be. After a brief moment, he stepped over into Steve’s sight catching his attention.

“It’s stuck in there good. Should we call Stark?”

“No.” Steve said firmly. “He’s had a chip on his shoulder about Bucky since those files were released. I doubt he would help and even if he was willing, he’s working with the government. They want to get their hands on the Winter Soldier more than anything. We’re on our own on this.”

In the brief pause, Sam thought about their options. “Maybe not.” When Steve glanced over at him he continued. “I know a guy, just met him. He might have the resources to get Barnes out of this.”

Steve took a calming breath. He needed a fix and fast. They were running out of time and options at this point. Not saying anything, he nodded and Sam whipped out his cell, already dialing the number before stepping out of the room to talk.

Once Sam was gone, Steve wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to help, he really did, but the how was still lost to him. He didn’t want to do or say something to spook the man and he didn’t want to cause Bucky any more pain. Crouching down low, he could see the way Bucky’s eyes shifted. They weren’t blank like so many people said they were. Instead they looked sad, confused, and even afraid. No wonder he had looked away.

“Bucky, look at me.” Steve spoke softly, but firmly. He didn’t want Bucky to shy away, but he put enough force to it that the conditioning might respond to the request as an order. Steve hated to think like that, or to use something like that against Bucky, but he would if, in the end, it would ultimately help him.

Blue focused at the sound of his voice. The head tilted up as eyes met. There was recognition there and the sadness lingered, though it was something. Steve couldn’t help his lips curling up on one side.

“Hey, you’ve gotta relax. We’re going to get you out of that thing, but you’ve gotta stop pulling. You’ll hurt yourself.”

Steve tried not to feel like he was talking to a child, but he didn’t know how the soldier would react to him. The man had yet to say anything, but his lips parted once, closed, and then moved again.

“I know you.” The words were spoken low, a little hoarse from a dry mouth. “The man from the bridge…my mission.”

Steve shook his head in denial. “I’m not your mission. Not anymore. I’m a friend. I’ll always be your friend.”

That seemed to get the man’s attention as he lifted his head up, words spilling out automatically and without much emotion. Bucky was quoting something he had heard. “Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both school yard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country.”

Steve’s heart began to pound. Those were the words from the Captain American exhibit at the Smithsonian. Those were the words the narrator spoke when you reached the part of the exhibit about Bucky. That meant Bucky had been there at some point. Steve wanted to say something, anything to make it right, but Bucky beat him to it.

“I’m not him. We have the same face, but I’m not him.”

Steve shook his head before looking Bucky straight in the eye. “You are him. You’ve changed, but that doesn’t mean…”

Bucky shook his head and Steve didn’t continue. He wasn’t about to force the issue with him. It would take time and a lot of patience, but Bucky would come around eventually. He had to.

Sam chose that moment to walk back into the room. In his hand was a bottled water that he handed to Steve. Steve uncapped the lid, holding it up so Bucky could see what he was doing before holding it out.

“Take it. You need it.”

Carefully, Bucky reached out to take the water. He brought it up to his nose to smell before taking a small sip. Steve knew it was a way to test for poison or drugs. When he deemed it safe enough, Bucky drank a bit before trying to hand back the bottle. Steve held his hand up.

“You can have it all. Here’s the cap if you want to save the rest for later.” Steve placed the cap on top of the machine base glancing back at Sam. “I’m going to talk to Sam for a moment. Just try and stay relaxed. It’s going to be okay.”

Sam and Steve stepped over to the side. They could feel Bucky’s eyes on them, but it wasn’t like they were trying to hide anything from the man. Eventually he would need to know what would happen when they attempted to free the arm.

“I talked to the guy. He thinks he can do it, but he had to run and get some supplies. Said he could get here in about 45 minutes.”

Steve nodded. It wasn’t ideal, but it was what they had to work with. If this guy could really get Bucky out of the machine, then it was worth the wait and the risk. If Sam was vouching for him, Steve didn’t think there was anything for them to worry about, but at this point, they couldn’t be sure. They really didn’t have another option, so he was going to have to trust Sam’s judgment in order to free Bucky.

Steve explained to Bucky that someone was coming to help, but all that did was agitate the man a bit. They ended up spending the rest of the time in awkward silence until they could hear the man calling out to them. Steve stood up when Bucky went tense and Sam held up a hand.

“Man, I got this.”

Steve turned his attention back to Bucky, trying to figure out the best way to calm him down.

“Hey, it’s okay. He’s a friend of Sam’s and I trust Sam.”

Bucky dropped his head, shaking it no. “Why would he want to help me? Why would his friend want to help me? They don’t know me. Your friend…I tried to kill him too. He was part of my mission.”

“Sam is my friend and I trust him. He knows how important you are to me and he wants to help. Let’s get you out of this and I can take you someplace safe. We can talk, figure all this out.”

Those pleading, scared blue eyes were looking back at him again and he managed to find a reassuring smile for Bucky. Slowly the man started to relax a bit again and Steve felt a bit of awe that he was able to make Bucky comfortable around him. It meant a lot to him.

By the time Sam had returned, Steve had managed to calm Bucky down to the point where he was no longer pulling at the machine to get the arm out. Beside him, Scott Lang’s jaw dropped a bit at the sight before recovering, opening his mouth to speak before grinning at the strange situation.

“Whoa, when you said that someone was stuck, you didn’t mention he was one of the most wanted men on the planet.”

“He’s a war hero and a friend of Captain America.” Sam pointed out, nodding towards Steve. “Scott, meet Steve Rogers. Steve, this is Scott Lang. He calls himself Antman.”

“Antman?” Steve questioned, stepping up to shake the man’s hand.

“I didn’t pick it and the cool ones were taken, so I guess I’m running with it.” The man said, still grinning as he took Steve’s hand and shook in greeting.

“The man stuck in the machine is his friend, Bucky Barnes. Think you can get him out?” Sam asked, getting them back on track after the momentary distraction.

“I have to take a look, but I think I can.”

Bucky tensed up once more as he watched the man carefully. His eyes focused solely on the stranger in front of him, so Steve had to step in between so that Bucky wouldn’t hurt the man. Once Steve was in his sights, he blinked, looking up confused.

“He’s here to help. You have to let him check things out.” Steve told him and Bucky glanced away. Scott got a good look before heading back to where he had dropped off his bag of tools.

“I can do it, but I’m worried about the pressure on his shoulder. You’re going to have to keep him calm and as still as you can, otherwise it’s gonna really hurt.” Lang told Rogers, watching the way the two men interacted with one another. It was strange to watch, but if Rogers could do it, he would be done in a matter of minutes and Barnes would be free again.

As Scott started to set up, Steve tried to keep Bucky’s attention focused on him. He knew that he perceived Scott as a possible threat and his mind wasn’t well enough to distinguish a friend from a foe. What made it all worse was the fact that Scott said this would hurt. Bucky would definitely see it as personal, not realizing that ultimately help him in the end.

“He’s kinda tense back here.” Scott pointed out as he leaned over to get started. “You got any tips to get him to relax?”

Steve nodded and turned back to Bucky. “Okay Buck, he’s going to get started. You have to relax, just breathe and try to focus on me. You’ll be out of that thing in a few minutes.”

Steve didn’t realize he had been holding his breath after that until he saw Bucky’s nod and inhaled in relief. Glancing back up at Scott he nodded. The sooner Bucky was out, the sooner they could figure out the next step.

At the moment, he was tuning out whatever Scott was doing. He couldn’t watch, could see what the man was going to do. Instead he put his entire focus on Bucky, watching for any bad reactions. Currently the man’s eyes were closed, but his breathing became a little erratic. Steve was quick to drop to his knees, cupping the man’s cheek. Pain filled blue opened, quickly registering who it was that was touching him. Steve took a little bit more liberty, brushing the hair away from Bucky’s face so that he could see it better. The look on Bucky’s face he couldn’t describe, but he wasn’t going to stop. At least he wasn’t until Bucky asked him to.

Slowly he felt it. Bucky relaxed at his touch resting his head into his palm and closing his eyes once more. Relief swept through him as he continued to run his fingers over Bucky’s hair. He knew Scott and Sam were both watching, could feel the unspoken questions lingering in the air. They kept quiet though, the only sounds were Bucky’s fading labored breaths and Scott rummaging as he moved around. Whatever this was, it was allowing Bucky to relax, to remain calm. If this was all he could do to help, then it was worth it.

~~~~~

It was a careless, stupid mistake. One that he knew better than to make, but one of his enemies had knocked him back the same time that he had fired his last bullet. That man was now dead and he was stuck, his arm trapped, crushed by the machine.

He had been trying to destroy the building and the occupants inside when the flying man had shown up. A part of him knew that the man had once been his mission, but he also knew that this man wasn’t necessarily an enemy. He helped the man from the helicarrier, the one who kept calling him friend. That and that alone kept him from blowing the place up. Instead, he had followed the man into the warehouse, igniting the fight he’d initially tried to avoid.

At least the man had turned off the machine before it could do any more damage. When it had first happened he felt the pain in his shoulder and down his left side as the arm had been pulled tight. It still throbbed, but he’d been trained to block out pain in order to complete any mission. He really didn’t have any options than to try and figure out how to get free on his own at this point. The flying man had left the room and he could hear the man talking outside, but that didn’t mean anything.

With the tip of his boot, he pulled the closest bench over, propping it against the base so he could sit and take some of the pressure off of the arm. It helped a little though he was still trying to tug it free when the man returned.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It’s stuck pretty good and I don’t have the skills to remove it.” The man spoke to him, stepping off to the side. “I called Rogers, by the way. He should be here soon.”

He glared at the man at that news. Steve Rogers, the man who had confronted him on the helicarrier, the man who had saved him from death, who called him friend and refused to fight him. That exhibit he’d taken a risk sneaking into had claimed Rogers had been friends with Bucky Barnes. He and Barnes shared the same face, and at one point he may have been that man, but no longer.

The Winter Soldier had long replaced the man he had once been, and although he had regained some of his humanity and sense back, he could never go back. He could never be the man Rogers wanted him to so desperately be. The thought hurt more than it should, but he had to be honest with himself about this. Once Rogers realized this, he would be long gone and the soldier would finally be hunted by the man who once called him friend.

He braced his hand on the concrete base of the machine and tugged again, turning at the sound of a sharp inhale of breath. There in the entrance, taking a step towards him was the man in question. Roger’s face looked shocked before shifting to utterly stricken. He was sad and guilt ridden, something that couldn’t be changed right now. The soldier knew what the man saw as his eyes turned pleading. He didn’t want Rogers to look at him that way, but he also wanted the man’s help to get free. Even if it was inevitable for them to become enemies, Rogers had earned his trust that day, freeing him from being pinned by steel and glass before refusing to fight back.

Hearing those words that day, watching Rogers fall, both had awakened the part of him that had been locked away. That was the first day he could feel the man he had once been surge forth, overpowering the conditioning of the soldier and forcing him back. It was why he had been able to fall after the man into the Potomac and pull him out. He’d walked away that day, unsure of where he stood and feeling like he needed to find himself. His mind was still a mess sometimes, unable to focus and put his thoughts into words.

Rogers didn’t say anything to him at first. He tensed when the other guy approached, closing his eyes as the sharp pains went down his side. Taking a deep breath, forcing his body to relax, he listened in on what the two men had to say.

“It’s stuck in there good. Should we call Stark?” The flying man asked. The soldier wished he could see the expression on the man’s face to see if the situation was as bad as it looked. Rogers face spoke volumes though. He wasn’t happy at the mention of Stark’s name.

“No. He’s had a chip on his shoulder about Bucky since those files were released. I doubt he would help and even if he was willing, he’s working with the government. They want to get their hands on the Winter Soldier more than anything. We’re on our own on this.”

He had to agree with Rogers on this. The last thing he wanted was to be caught by the government and he could understand Stark’s bias towards him. Once he had gotten himself together, he had looked into the files, especially the ones on him. Several of the missions he’d carried out had come back to him with time. One of them was the execution of Howard and Maria Stark.

Hydra had felt that Howard Stark and S.H.I.E.L.D. were getting too close to the truth. Howard was well respected and the largest weapons manufacturer in the United States. If he suspected something was wrong, or if he found something concrete, people would listen to him. The leaders of Hydra had decided to take him out before he had the chance. His wife, who had been in the car with him when he had taken the shot, was just collateral damage though he had a faint memory of agents questioning if she had known anything. In the end, he had been praised for his good work, wiped and frozen once more.

“Maybe not.” The man’s words pulled him out of his thoughts. Rogers glanced over at him a little bit of hope on his face. “I know a guy, just met him. He might have the resources to get Barnes out of this.”

He wanted to say no. To tell them he wouldn’t allow any more outside help. Even as he mentally protested, he saw Rogers give the nod and his friend step outside, cell phone in hand as he dialed a phone number. His mind raced as he tried to come up with a better solution, one that wouldn’t involve an outsider. The man had just admitted that they had just met. How could they trust someone they didn’t really know? Someone who had yet to earn their trust?

“Bucky, look at me.”

His eyes shot up at the sound of the command. It was instinctual for him to respond to orders. Part of him realized Rogers hadn’t meant it that way, but it wouldn’t have stopped him from looking up. Rogers was crouched down in front of him, a small distance between them. Whether he was wary of an attack or just giving the soldier some space to breathe, he wasn’t sure. He focused on concern blue, catching the man’s eyes with his. A small smile graced the man’s face in reassurance. This felt so wrong.

“Hey, you’ve gotta relax.” Rogers spoke softly and calmly. “We’re going to get you out of that thing, but you’ve gotta stop pulling. You’ll hurt yourself.”

He felt his lips part as he tried to respond…something…anything to tell Rogers that he heard him. He understood what the man was trying to tell him. His throat was dry and words didn’t come easy to him anymore.

“I know you.” It came out a little scratchy and hoarse, but strong under the circumstances. Rogers had to know that he remembered him. It was the only reason the man had been allowed this close. “The man from the bridge…”

He hesitated for a second. While the first was true it was from before the incident on the helicarrier. Rogers had to know that he knew him from that. The proper words wouldn’t come out, but he had to say something. “…my mission.”

The reaction was instant. Roger’s eyes looked horrified for a split second as he shook his head. It was a denial and his words backed up the emotions displayed on his face. “I’m not your mission. Not anymore. I’m a friend. I’ll always be your friend.”

The word friend brought to mind the words from the exhibit. The man who shared his face, who he could never be again, was Steven Rogers’ best friend. They had lived together, fought together, and in the end both had paid a steep price. The words came out before he could really think about it.

“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both school yard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country.”

Rogers’ expression changed again. There was hope and sadness in his gaze. Lips pressed together in a tight line and it looked as though he was fighting back the tidal wave of emotion threatening to crush him. When he saw that small glimmer of hope, he knew he had to end it now. Rogers needed to understand that he and Bucky Barnes were not the same person.

“I’m not him. We have the same face, but I’m not him.”

Rogers shook his head again. He knew his words hurt the other man, but it was the only way.

“You are him. You’ve changed, but that doesn’t mean…”

This time he shook his head. Rogers had to realize what he was saying was the truth. He had to understand that the man he longed the soldier to be was gone. Bucky Barnes was a good man who fought for his friends and his country. Barnes had died that day in 1945 when he fell from that train and he had been replaced by a man broken beyond fixing. Rogers needed to understand that the man in front of him was not a good man and would never be again. He was capable of violence and death and destruction because that was what he had been trained to do. In the end, that was all he knew. His nightmares were a constant reminder of what he had done and he wasn’t coming back from that.

Before Rogers could say anything else, the other man had returned, stepping up behind them to hand Rogers a bottle of water. The lid was removed and the bottle was held out to him.

“Take it. You need it.”

He hesitated for a moment. His mouth and throat were so dry, so he did need the water, but he would only take enough to satisfy his thirst and hand it back. Fingers brushed Rogers as he took the bottle from it, bringing it up to his nose to smell. Rogers he trusted not to drug him, his friend not so much. Taking a tentative sip to see if he could taste anything, he let the little bit of water coat his tongue. It was just plain water, so he indulged drinking about half the bottle before trying to hand it back. Rogers held up a hand.

“You can have it all.” He said, placing the cap on the concrete next to where his hand was stuck. “Here’s the cap if you want to save the rest for later. I’m going to talk to Sam for a moment. Just try and stay relaxed. It’s going to be okay.”

He looked over at the cap. It wasn’t as if he had a spare hand to use to put it back on the bottle. He saw the gesture for what it was though, permission to keep the water. He was allowed to keep it, something he was still struggling with. In Hydra, he was only given what he needed, enough food or water to function, sometimes a bath. Clothes and weapons were supplied, but they belonged to the Russians or Hydra, never to him. Even the clothes on his body now weren’t truly his. He’d stolen them, burning his previous outfit with each new attack. It made him harder to track.

A small part of him wanted a place to belong, to feel safe, but that was far from his reach. Rogers would offer, he knew he would, but it wasn’t an offer he could afford to take. He was a hunted and a wanted man. It wasn’t worth putting Rogers and his men in trouble for him. Once he was free, he’d run again.

Rogers and his companion returned. They explained that someone was on the way to help get him out of the machine, which reminded him of his earlier mental argument. He still didn’t want an outsider to come in and make things worse. For all they knew, the man would betray them.

After a little bit of a wait, he could hear someone shouting and he went tense. The man calling out to them wasn’t well versed in espionage at all. Though they had initially cleared the building, there was no guarantee that there weren’t more Hydra agents lying in wait or on their way.

“Man, I got this.”

Once the other man left, Rogers turned to look at him. He shifted, mentally wincing at the pain as it laced through him. This wasn’t good.

“Hey, it’s okay. He’s a friend of Sam’s and I trust Sam.”

He looked away, shaking his head to try and clear away some of the worry. It didn’t matter if this man was a friend of his friend. There was no good explanation for why Sam was willing to help him.

“Why would he want to help me? Why would his friend want to help me? They don’t know me. Your friend…I tried to kill him too. He was part of my mission.”

It made no sense. The soldier should have earned their anger and contempt. Instead he got their kindness and compassion. It didn’t make any sense to him.

“Sam is my friend and I trust him.” Rogers said again, as if repeating it would help it to sink in and everything would make sense. “He knows how important you are to me and he wants to help. Let’s get you out of this and I can take you someplace safe. We can talk, figure all this out.”

He wanted to believe that. A part of him longed for a safe place, for someone to listen to him, for someone to trust with his secrets. It was something he had given up on ever having. Even now, with Rogers handing him a life line, he couldn’t bring himself to take it, though it was getting harder for him to justify saying no to the man.

“Whoa, when you said that someone was stuck, you didn’t mention he was one of the most wanted men on the planet.”

Both men looked up to see that Sam had returned. Beside him was a tall, thin man wearing a black t-shirt and jeans. He had green eyes and dark hair and a cocky grin on his face. The soldier in him tensed up again, his first impression of the man not a very good one. He wasn’t in the mood for this right now.

“He’s a war hero and friend of Captain America.” Sam pointed out, staring sternly at the man. He nodded at Rogers and the two men were introduced to each other. The man’s name was Scott Lang and his alias was Antman. If the situation was different, he would have scoffed at the ridiculous sounding name. Sam moved on, introducing him as Bucky Barnes before asking the man if he was able to do this.

“I have to take a look, but I think I can.”

Lang stepped closer and he was determined to watch the man like a hawk. He already had his reservations and having a stranger this close to him when his defenses were down didn’t sit well with him. He still had a few options available to him should this man attack.

Black and grey stepped into his field of vision and he blinked up. Rogers was standing between him and Lang, blocking the man from his view. It snapped him out of the blank defensive mode he had slipped into.

“He’s here to help. You have to let him check things out.” Rogers chastised him and he turned away. Lang only needed another moment before he was heading back to where he had dropped a few bags on the floor.

“I can do it, but I’m worried about the pressure on his shoulder. You’re going to have to keep him calm and as still as you can. Otherwise, it’s really gonna hurt.”

Lang stood on the other side of the machine, setting up a few tools off to the side. Rogers crouched down in front of him and managed another smile for him. He was closer this time. For the soldier, it was strange to let anyone that close to him, but for some reason, with Rogers it was so easy. Still, he was on edge from Lang’s proximity. He was too close to his prosthetic. What if he broke it? What if he did something wrong and caused him more pain?

“He’s kinda tense back here.” Lang spoke as he walked around the machine to look over at the other side. He was standing directly behind Barnes and the last thing he wanted was to set the man off. Glancing down at Rogers he raised an eyebrow, questioning the man. “You got any tips to get him to relax?”

Right now that wasn’t a possibility. Even with Rogers right in front of him, grounding him, there wasn’t any way he was going to be able to relax. It was all too much. They were too close and he just knew it was going to hurt. He refused to cry out too, wouldn’t give the man behind him the satisfaction, or worry the man in front of him.

“Okay Buck, he’s going to get started. You have to relax, just breathe and try to focus on me. You’ll be out of that thing in a few minutes.”

He followed Rogers’ instructions and tried to breathe. It did help a bit, clearing his mind of the panic he felt. After a moment, he nodded, watching as relief washed over Roger’s features. The man was looking at him and only him. He closed his eyes feeling the man behind him move and fiddle a bit with the mechanism around his arm. The small shift sent pain racing across his shoulder and down his left side. His breath hitched and he struggled to find the next one. It had to be bad if the simple act of drawing breath sent sharp pains through his body.

He heard the soft thud, felt the hand cup against his cheek. Fingers rubbed against the stubble there and his eyes flew open. He didn’t have time to hide the pain in his eyes as they caught distraught blue. Fingers tangled in his long hair, brushing it away from his face. The man in front of him managed a small smile and he struggled to find his next breath.

Rogers was trying to ground him, putting aside his own pain to help him. It was reckless and so very wrong. He didn’t want the other man to stop. If he could, he would stay like this for as long as it was possible.

Over the last several years, all he had known was pain. Any human contact he’d received was if it was necessary. It was to work on his arm, to push him back into the machines, to hand him a weapon, or help him change into his uniform. This was different. It was personal and so very warm. He reveled in it as he looked Rogers in the eye. There was something there, something he didn’t have a name for, but as irrational as it was, he could feel it.

Closing his eyes, he felt his body relax as he gave himself up into Rogers’ care. He pressed into the palm still cupping his face. He welcomed the fingers sliding through his hair, scraping gently against his scalp. A small part knew there were other eyes on him…that his was exposed and so very vulnerable, but he didn’t care. Steve was here. He would keep him safe.

The moment was over too soon. With a creaking of metal and a pop, his arm slid free from the machine. The metal plates were slightly damaged, a dent where the machine had crushed it, but still functional. He pulled away from Rogers, cradling his arm in his flesh hand, moving the plates of his fingers and wrist and elbow to test the mobility.

He clenched his metal fingers into a fist, warring emotions of relief and frustration surged through him. Although he was grateful to be free, he hadn’t wanted to pull away from Rogers. The warmth the man had given to him was gone and he desperately wanted it back. Right now the man was still kneeling in front of him, sitting back on his legs, a look of pure relief on his face as he watched Bucky move the once trapped appendage.

“That was actually much easier than it looked.” Lang spoke up. “Any further into the machine and I would have had some issues, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. “

The man continued to talk, directing his comments more towards the Avenger he knew better. Rogers was staring directly at him, watching him. From the look he was getting, he knew that it was only a matter of time before Rogers asked him the question behind the look.

“Bucky.” His name rolled out, sounding hopeful. “Come back with me. I know you don’t have any real reason to trust me or any of the other Avengers, but we can help you get better. We can keep you safe.”

He looked up into pleading blue. Part of what Rogers had just said wasn’t true. “I do trust you.”

“What?” Rogers looked confused, his eyes shifting a bit in thought.

“I trust you. You wouldn’t kill me that day…when I…” He hesitated, seeing when Rogers understood. “I’m not him, but you…I feel safe with you.”

The words that chose to come out as jumbled as his thoughts, but at least he got to come out and say what he wanted. Rogers seemed to understand what he meant. His eyes were sad, but there was hope in them. He never wanted to see that light dim in the blond man.

“Then that settles it. You’re coming back to headquarters with us. I’m not going to take no for an answer this time.”

Rogers held out a hand. This time he didn’t hesitate, taking it and allowing Rogers to help him to his feet. The other two men were walking out of the room as if they sensed the shift in the air and decided to give the two super soldiers some privacy. Rogers reached up and brushed the strands of hair that had fallen into his face again, tucking it behind his ear.

“I know you don’t think that you’re worth saving, that you’ve changed too much, but I know that there’s still some good in you. You’ve changed, you’re already getting better. I know you don’t understand why I would go so far to help you, but one day you will. You’re my friend and if I have to say over and over again…I’d say it a thousand times until it sinks in.” Rogers smiled, trying to make the situation lighter. “Come on, Buck. Let’s go home.”

He watched the man turn and start to walk away, hesitating for just a moment in the doorway. Rogers glanced over his shoulder to look back at him and he couldn’t just stand still any longer. Taking a tentative step, he moved forward. After the first one, it was as easy as breathing. Maybe that was a sign, an answer to the questions that plagued his mind. All he knew was following Rogers felt so familiar and he would follow him forever if it meant feeling this way.

It was in that moment that things became clear for him. This was what he had been searching for. He thought that going from base to base, seeking retribution for what was done to him would absolve some of the guilt that had crept up on him, but all it did was agitate him more. As each day passed he waited for the day someone would come and end the torturous cycle, take his life away so he didn’t have to deal with this anymore, but he no longer wanted that.

Rogers saw that he was redeemable. He may have been the only one, but sometimes one person was all it took. If it meant a lifetime of paying for what he had been forced to do, he’d pay it if it meant being close to this man…following him wherever he needed to go. He didn’t have a name for what he was feeling, but he knew, in that moment, this was the answer he was subconsciously looking for.

And now that he had found it, he wasn’t willing to let it go.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what did you all think. I initially was only going to do Steve's POV, but for a bit of a challenge, I decided to do the story from Bucky's as well. I did get a chance to go see Ant-Man last weekend, and I really enjoyed it. I get the feeling that if they did call Scott for this thing, it isn't going to go as smoothly as I wrote it and Scott might use the ants. But, he seemed to be a pretty handy guy from the clip they released in the US, (It was the part where he broke into the safe at Hank Pym's home) so that's why I wrote him in as a bit more of a hands on kinda guy. It works either way, I think.
> 
> I had a lot of fun working on this and I kept sending clips to my beta and it made her happy and probably a bit sad as she kept commenting with "FEELS!". She got this back to me quick enough for me to post it this week, so here's to her! I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments and kudos! I really want to know what you all think and since this is the first thing I've posted outside of my Hydra Verse. I really do hope that you all enjoy it.
> 
> Come follow me on social media and check out my Hydra Verse. Links are below!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr/Instagram/Twitter:  
> Main Tumblr/Mostly Marvel: http://silvertempest.tumblr.com/  
> Writing Tumblr (I post previews of stuff here): http://silverciels.tumblr.com/  
> Instagram (I post previews and statuses. If you like my other stories follow #HydraVerse): SilverCiels  
> Twitter (Not as active on here, but feel free to follow): @SilverCiels
> 
> Hydra Verse: http://archiveofourown.org/series/120303


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